HOW ARE YOU?

How are you?
and what do you do?
Are questions that you ask, but don’t necessarily want the answers to

It’s not that you don’t want them
It’s worse
Because you don’t care
for the reply or the answer
and to me, that isn’t fair.

I’m not depressed
because this “one thing happened to me”
depression is my collection
of pain and emotional scar tissue
that you just can’t see
An accumulation of messes and second guesses
That I can’t really confide
Because I find it easier to just run away and hide.

So ask me again “How are you?”
and I will tell you
How I feel
Right now
In this moment, go on I owe you…
the truth
behind your question
It might be hard to hear
but why did you ask it
if the answer
is something you fear?

The inevitable…
My ‘Sadness’
pouring out and into you
you might want to stand back
Depression could be catching to!

Just hug me and say “It’ll be OK”
Lie to my face and walk away
from me
my mind
and our interaction
Bet you wish you never asked that question?

Anyway how are you?

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2 Comments

  1. June 22, 2017 / 6:00 pm

    Oh, Natasha. I think the trouble with childhoods like ours is that we overcompensate in adulthood by trying to find things to belong to – children become your family but, you know, you need more than children in a family, you need mothers and aunts and sisters and, you know, the rest of them too. And it makes us vulnerable. I am sorry she betrayed you and I am sorry that she hurt you so deeply. I’m here if you ever want a chat. x

  2. Jane
    July 12, 2017 / 8:05 pm

    Again, it’s like you are reading my mind. Thank you so much for putting it into words so very well. Thank you šŸ™‚

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