I AM SO SORRY

“I’m sorry”

“I’m so sorry”

For the tumour

For the cancer

For the fucking fact that there’s still no answer

Or cure to give you the life you should be having

“I’m sorry” that this is the path you’ve been given

I’m sorry. 

You see when people say “I’m so sorry”

I look at back at them and I worry

Because to me the words “I AM SORRY”

accept the tumour, accept the cancer and also assumes to predict the answer… 

Which is? 

“Sorry you are dying”

As a nation we say “sorry” a lot

We say “sorry” when we’re not even in the wrong

There’s even dedicated songs to the very word,

but why when it comes to cancer does “I am sorry” sound so absurd? 

Because “I’m sorry I bumped into you”

Is not the same as “I’m sorry that cancer is taking you”

Cancer

Your stealth and deadly assassin 

The greatest hustler you can ever imagine

A go-getter who fights, protests and will not budge

It’s almost hard to hold this grudge 

If your cancer wasn’t such a cunt it would remind me of you

Because just like you, its fucking stubborn too

It’s also generous, loud and proud, 

it fights for what it wants and its always around

You never wait for life, it just happens to you

So

“I’m sorry because if I was your cancer I’d stick with you too”

For Asha, my baddest and baldest muse.

3 Comments

  1. April 21, 2017 / 10:15 am

    Oh god it sucks so much. Asha you are one brave woman and Nat- much love to you x

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