I feel like you are hurting and there’s nothing I can do
Or say to make the pain of not only your illness, but your heart go away
Life is hard and life can be shit, but I think of something you said and I suddenly feel full of it…
What does that even really mean?
“Life is for living”
Is what they say
But without you in it
I don’t feel the same way
My life will be one life-less without you.
A life less
A loss of life
Mama to Teddy
But “Not a wife”
I’ve been too busy thinking of what I will lose in this deal
That I’ve forgotten you have others
Who will feel your loss as well
How can I explain to Ted that you’re one of the best females I’ve ever known?
That you fiercely protect the ones you love
Because the one who was supposed to love you the most…
She let you go.
What a waste.
I know that you are hurting and there’s nothing I can do
I want to rip that tumour right fucking out of you
Instead I scream and shout at it
“HEY FUCK YOU”
To which it replies, middle finger high
“hey, fuck YOU too”
“I’m taking your friend and there’s nothing you can do”
“But she’s a mother”
I desperately reply
But Cancer doesn’t discriminate
It just consumes her from the inside.
For Asha, April 2017
Drawing by Letters to Loved