Every year Mother’s day comes and every year I always think “blimey”. Just to buy our dog a man with a plan had to come and check my fences, but when I was up the duff the doctor just pointed me to the vitamin aisle. Anyone can have a baby! It is nuts and every year I think “blimey”, because I am doing it. I am raising a human…and the dog (incase you were wondering).
Moonpig asked me if I would collaborate with them for Mothers Day this year and share my mama magic tricks with you, you know the stuff that we all do without thinking or blinking? I have to admit that I was very worried that I had no magic tricks, but then I got thinking about all the stuff that I and you probably do everyday without even knowing it and I would love to know if you do any of these too?
The “I will race you” Trick
If I want to get Max to do something and he protests I have recently discovered that if I say “I will race you” the protest is over and the competition begins. For example “I bet I finish all my dinner before you, I will race you”…BOOM! Dinner eaten and magic trick served. This trick can work to get your kid to school, to get the kid to tidy up Lego and to get them both in and out of the bath. You are welcome.
The “It’s too spicy” Trick
Not original, but a classic Madre trick – got some nice chocolate? Don’t want to share it? Simply say “Oooh this is too spicy” and it is yours. Maybe do some Oscar worthy waving infront of your gob, really play up the spice intensity and hey presto you never have to share your food again. In your face kid!
The “You do not know the time” Trick
My kid is 4 and time is simply measured by day and night and so I am the official ‘time keeper’. If I’m honest I have let it go to my head and I am pretty convinced that I am in fact Dr.Who. I do control time. If I say “it’s 7pm we must go to bed”, but really it is 6pm – what is really going to happen? No, really what?
The “Father Christmas” Trick
This is classic Mum Magic stuff or lies, however you want to dress it up it’s your business, but if you’re like me, simply whispering the big mans name “Father Christmas” can be the difference between a good day or a bad. For example “Father Christmas won’t be impressed you are leaving that broccoli” etc. Broccoli gets eaten. Boom. Thanks FC. **side note** this trick can get thrown in your face, proceed with caution.
The “It’s on display”/”That man will tell you off” Trick
Up until very recently this trick has been one of my greatest magic spells to date. Shops are of course the parental equivalent of Dante’s Inferno, so for some reason since MB was tiny I have always said “oh that is just a display, you can’t actually buy that” and it has saved us from many a tantrum, because that makes sense and you can’t buy stuff that you can’t buy. Science. If that fails, because the ‘thing’ is too shiny and the kid ‘must have it’ I also like to pick a stranger in the distance and whisper “that man said we couldn’t/can’t/said no/shouted at me” – because that makes sense and if someone that isn’t your mother says ‘no’ it’s real life (but really it’s mum magic).
Share your magic tricks with me and @MoonpigUK on Thursday 23rd March over on Twitter between 8-9pm where we will be having a party. Make sure you use the hashtag #MagicMum when you arrive and you could win prizes and gifts chosen by myself and the other swell bloggers involved in this Mother’s Day campaign by Moonpig.