Slummy Mummy #Solidaritea

Frozen fish fingers & swigging gin

saying ‘fuck it’ and ‘winging it’

to mother-ing.

To be a mother you have to care

you cannot drink gin and you cannot swear.

When times get rough as they often do

keep it all in and make a brew.

Kids are kids, you can’t change that

so get on a forum and be a twat.

Better yet, write an article

sell your morals and that part of you…

that part that screams ‘look after your kin’

but oh, you can’t

“because they’re all drinking gin”

They’re bad mothers

with their honesty policy

their self boasting, child loathing

posting on squares

they’re confusing their ‘followers’ with love and care.

“Revolted by the reality of changing nappies”


Have you ever dealt with a poonami?


Well here comes a tsunami

Anna, my dear

You’ve got it all wrong

we are all women

who happen to belong

to a special HOOD, a girl gang, a tribe

but your nasty words have created a divide.

There is no “us” and “them”

we are all mothers

who want to fit in

we don’t want to feel alone

parenting is hard

we’re shaping the future

why keep up a facade?

Why pretend that we are happy?

Especially, when we’re feeling crappy?

Why can’t we say “today was tricky”

Tomorrow will be better

but if not…that’s ok.

Come over with the kids and they can play.

I’ll put the fish fingers in the oven,

the kids will be happy

and we’ll discuss our coven

of bitches and witches

drinking their gin

“I fucking hate motherhood”

“I want to throw the towel in”.

How dare we work and raise a family.

Amazon Prime is only for emergencies

If you bake and craft, you’re out of the club

but don’t worry girls, because we’re just in the pub.

Trying to come up with something witty

to use in a hashtag to say our kid is “shitty”.

Mothering looks different for everyone

there are different approaches, techniques and advice, but trust me when I say

No one is doing it right.

We’re doing our best and that’s all we can do

we doubt ourselves constantly

so belive me,

we don’t need YOU.

To tell us how to mother

to tell us how to be

because we have each other

and together we are #SOLIDARITEA

written by Natasha Bailie

in response to the Daily FXXKING Mail shit show of an article about honest lazy parenting.

1 Comment

  1. June 12, 2017 / 5:38 pm

    Spot on! There’s nothing else to say really is there? You’ve said it all here, so well done! I’m popping over from Britmums roundup.

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